Tales from Our Yellow Brick Road: Thank you

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Thank you

I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to everyone who stopped by with their love & support. It meant so much to me. I cried when I read each comment but it truly felt like I was getting a hug from each and everyone one of you.

I am at work today - it's one of the few days I am happy that I sit on a separate floor from the rest of the team. I've had to talk to two people so far and have only cried once (at work). Not sure if I'll make it the full day or not but I figured I'd try. Still waiting for something to start...I think if it doesn't happen by next week we'll talk about the option of the D&C. I was really hoping to avoid it.

We also decided to push the in-laws visit out by 3 weeks...I was so happy that MIL was okay with that.

I bought a new charm yesterday for my necklace. I hate that I had to add another one but it feels good to have something to touch when I think about Fred.

(not the best picture of the charm...it has moonstone hearts)

9 comments:

Just TOctober 17, 2012 at 7:47 AM
I am glad that your MIL was understanding. I couldn't imagine having company during this process. I love your necklace and what a beautiful memory you have.
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LunaOctober 17, 2012 at 8:11 AM
Your charms are beautiful and such a special way to remember. I am so very sorry. Hugs.
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JennyOctober 17, 2012 at 8:37 AM
Sending you lots of love and hugs.
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DuckyOctober 17, 2012 at 8:50 AM
I love your charm necklace. I have something similar for my losses. I wear it whenever I need to feel close to my babies, even though I know they're not actually IN the charm.

((hugs))
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FieryOctober 17, 2012 at 1:04 PM
I somehow missed this on Mon. I'm so heartbroken for you...don't know what else to say. It's horrible. Your necklace is such a beautiful way to remember.
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Stupid StorkOctober 17, 2012 at 1:23 PM
Gorgeous charms. My thoughts are still with you to a psychotic degree (if you feel inexplicably creeped out during the day at some point, that is my creepy thinking-about-KelBel-vibe. Enjoy.)
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SLES75October 17, 2012 at 1:47 PM
Here from Stupid Stork.....just wanted you to know you were being thought of and prayed for during this sad time. There are no words, so I will keep you in my thoughts.
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AnonymousOctober 18, 2012 at 5:20 AM
Your necklace is beautiful...I am sorry that you have to add a charm...I hope you do not need a D&C...((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
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Elizabeth :: Bébé SuisseOctober 19, 2012 at 1:02 PM
I've been thinking about you all week, Kelly ... I'm still in shock that this happened. I'm glad that amidst all the pain and disappointment, you've found a way to honor Fred and to connect him to the other three babies. Your necklace is beautiful - I only wish you didn't have to wear it.
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Our TTC Timeline

4/10: Married my best friend
6/10: Bought a new house together
7/10: BCPs go into the trash
Aug and Sept 2010: AF arrives
10/10: BFP!
11/10: natural miscarriage at 8 weeks
12/10: month off
Jan 2011 - May 2011: BFN
6/11: meet with Dr. W, bloodwork done...shows I did not ovulate in May. Clomid prescribed. Waiting for AF and get a surprise BFP
7/11: natural miscarriage at 9 weeks before we get to first appt with Ob/Gyn; sent to specialist for consultation
8/11: meet with specialist Dr. M...lots of bloodwork and HSG
9/11: discover I have a Robertsonian Balanced Translocation of my 13th and 14th chromosomes...told it was okay to start trying again...get a BFP at the end of the month!
10/11: natural miscarriage at 8 weeks
Nov - Dec 2011: time off
Jan 2012 - March 2012: Unmonitored Clomid cycles BFN each month
3/12: First meeting with RE. Day 3 bloodwork and ultrasound.
4/12: Consultation with RE - told we have a 1% chance of bringing home a healthy baby due to the chromosomes and my age. Discussed options of IVF and IVF with donor eggs. After a lot of heart-to-heart conversations hubby and I decide to move forward with IVF with my eggs.
5/12: Let the IVF journey begin.
6/12: Found out I did not respond to meds as well as we had hoped so turned IVF into an IUI. BFN
7/3/12: Hysterscopy to remove polyps. Follow-up appt with Dr. A scheduled to figure out what is next. Hopefully IVF #2!
7/27/12: Start Stims; Only 5 follicles seen
8/2/12: 4 measurable follies seen - a few small ones in there too
8/4/12: 10 measurable follies seen - with a few small ones. Told to trigger that night and retrieval is scheduled for 8/6.
8/6/12: 4 eggs retrieved
8/7/12: All 4 eggs mature and all 4 fertilized with ICSI.
8/13/12: Cells from 2 embryos sent out for PGD testing. Told that the embryos "look really good".
8/24/12: Told that Embryo #1 was abnormal. XX 47 chromosomes...1 #16, 3 #17 and 3 #21. Tests on Embryo #2 were inconclusive.
8/27/12: After much thought and discussion we have decided to go forward with the transfer of Embryo #2.
9/7/12: Dr. A transfers Embryo #2
9/18/12: BFP!! Beta#1: 140; Progesterone: 37.3...anxiously excited.
9/21/12: Beta #2: 626!!
9/25/12: Beta #3: 1399!
10/2/12: First U/S...I am 6w1d and the baby measured 6w...heartbeat: 120.97...so excited!
10/10/12: 2nd U/S...Fred measured around 6w5d...heartbeat: 135...I am anxious but Dr. A said all is looking good.
10/15/12: woke up with hive-like things on my back - went in for U/S...no heartbeat.
10/20/12: natural m/c
11/12: Month off
12/4/12: Laproscopy and Hysteroscopy - removed fibroid
1/13: Spontaneous pregnancy!!
1/25/13: Early U/S - things look good
2/1/13: U/S - looking good; I am 6w2d "Cinco" measured 6w3d/4d - heartbeat 127
2/8/13: U/S - still looking good; I am 7w2d Cinco measured 7w2d/3d - heartbeat 150
3/15/13: U/S - everything looking just the way it should. Graduated from Dr. A's practice.
3-9/13: Regular appointments with Dr. W - all went well
10/2/13: Our miracle man, M, was born :)