The in-laws are coming in next week for their first visit in over 3 years. Of course it's happening at a time when my hormones are raging. J asked me last night what I thought about telling his mom about how I am not always myself right now and sometimes I react to situations differently than I normally would. (Read over-react to situations.) I am not sure how I feel about this so I thought I'd turn to y'all for some advice and your thoughts. I'll give you a little background on my relationship with MIL first...
We rarely talk unless we are in person. It used to be that she only talked to me when I was pregnant and even that stopped. I used to get texts and emails from her but even those stopped. I'd like to say oh well, but there are times when it hurts my feelings. A congratulations text or email would have been nice. I haven't said anything because I don't think my family (except my Mom) has done the same for J so I can't really say much. She's "passed her love along" through J but nothing direct (my family has done the same "Tell J we how happy we are for the both of you.") J's mom is also known to hold grudges for far longer than any person should and that is what he's most worried about. He's worried that I might snap and she'll take it personally and there will be more damage done.
She's already held grudge against me once...that started on our wedding day. The morning of the wedding while I was getting ready she and her husband came to see me and present me with a necklace. Well, I did not wear it during the wedding because, big surprise here, I already had my jewelry picked out. I had borrowed a ring from her as my "something borrowed" so it's not like she hadn't contributed to the day. Anywhoo...she was upset and pretty much stopped talking to me that day. It really bothered me for awhile but I eventually just let it go.
I am anxious enough about this visist and I'm just not sure if telling her that my hormones are giving me a hard time is worth it. I don't want her feeling like she's walking on eggshells around me. UGH! Any thoughts??
Maybe just take a deep breath and play it by ear to see how it goes. Her actions will be her decision and no one else's.
ReplyDeleteI like that idea...I think I feel more comfortable with just seeing how it goes rather than feeling like we are setting up for a disaster.
DeleteI agree with what Toni suggested. If she starts to upset you...I'd walk off into another room and take a cool down. Crossing my fingers that everything goes well!
ReplyDeleteThanks!! Me too :)
DeleteAgreed - I think you should play it by ear. (If only because if I was a less informed person and someone warned me before a situation that someone was hormonal, I might think "oh jeeze" and already go in combative).
ReplyDeletethanks! I think that's just what I am going to do...hopefully all goes well!
DeleteI agree with all the others, I have a tricky relationship with my mother sometimes and both hubs and I have decided we have to try and relax and take it as it comes. It's tough but it works. Hoping this goes oK!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I am going to do my best to relax and hope for the best :)
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