Sunday, October 21, 2012

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Here's where I am at right now...

The Good:

J: I could not ask for a better husband. He has been amazing throughout all of this. Lots of comfort food :) Chinese food on Friday night and Rudy's bbq yesterday - both definitely helped.

Phone calls: I got to talk to one of my brothers tonight and that really helped. I hadn't talked to him since all of this started. I had my Mom fill him in when the pregnancy ended. It was really nice to talk to him.

I also talked to MIL tonight, which surprisingly enough, was really good. She could tell me enough how heartbroken they were for us and for themselves. She said if there was anything they could do to help they would do it in a heartbeat.

Cupcake brand wines: enough said.

The Bad:

Garnett had another seizure yesterday. It freaked me out again, but both Garnett and I came out of it much better than the one last week. (Oh yeah, that was another bad - there was a seizure last Saturday too.) The whole episode only lasted 3 minutes, so that goes into the good category.  Garnett did much better this time...when he came out of it he was much more alert this time. Just wish this would stop again. He went 11 months without one before the last three.

The Ugly:

The miscarriage happened last night. This may sound odd, but it wasn't as awful as I had thought it would be. It just seemed like the physical side of it should have been worse than what it's been so far. I've been crying off and on since Monday and that hasn't stopped. This may be TMI for some and if you are squeamish you may want to skip this...I was able to catch the sac so it can be tested. I have to bring it in to the doctor's office tomorrow morning.

I know I haven't replied to all of your comments, and I apologize for that. PLEASE know how much all of them mean to me...like I said before each and every comment feels like a big hug and I truly appreciate all of your love and support. THANK YOU!!

18 comments:

  1. Here from LFCA. I am SO sorry for your loss. I had four early losses before we finally got lucky, so I know how hard it is even having steeled yourself against what you know may happen. I know exactly what you mean about how it seems like the physical part should have been worse. I never had more than regular period cramps, which I think made the emotional aftermath that much worse and drawn out. Please know that you are not alone - anything and everything that you may need to vent, we are abiding with you here.

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  2. I'm so very sorry. I wish I had the words to take away the pain and give you back your Fred. Please know that you've been and will continue to be in my thoughts.

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    1. Thanks so much...it's nice to know we are in your thoughts.

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  3. I am so, so very sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts.

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    1. Thank you - it's good to know we are in your thoughts.

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  4. I am so sorry my lovely. Thinking of you.

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  5. There really are no words. They're just so inadequate at a time like this. If I could, I'd just give you a big hug. I'm so sorry. :(

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  6. I am so sorry for your loss.

    readingeachpage.blogspot.com

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  7. I am late to this but I'm thinking of you. ((hugs))

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    1. Thank you very much - hugs are welcome anytime!

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