Monday, July 23, 2012

Stuck

I am trying so hard to not have each post read as if it was written by Debbie Downer but I am a bit down in the dumps today. I have some work stuff going on that is really pulling me down. I am not going to go into details but I've done what I need to do and now I am waiting to hear back from my boss. The waiting is miserable. I am really, really hoping a resolution will begin today.  Not sure if it's possible to have the situation completely resolved today but if I could get a next action from my boss I'd be happy.

J and I did our best to have a fertility-free weekend. We did pretty well with that - took the dogs to the dog park each day, went out for a couple of beers (with the dogs in tow) on Friday, and worked on our home improvement project. With the exception of having work hanging over my head it was a really good weekend.

The ironic thing with deciding it would be a fertility-free weekend is I forgot to pay attention to the dates. Saturday marked the one year anniversary of my 2nd miscarriage. I am not sure if that's good or not; it definitely feels strange that I did not realize it until this morning when reading blogs and read about someones worst July ever. I wear a necklace with a charm for each baby lost so they are never really forgotten, even if I miss a date.

I am going to have four hormone free days this week (stop bcps tomorrow and start stims on Saturday), hopefully I can produce a positive post during that time!

15 comments:

  1. In my head all my posts are written by a sobbing six year old whose doll broke.
    Glad you had a good weekend. Of course you will never forget your children, but it's good that the pain is not as acute as time passes.
    Enjoy the hormone free days!

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    1. Thank you! We are planning on enjoy every hormone free moment before we get into the stims and Hormone Mt. Saint Helen shows up again. :)

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  2. How exciting that you decided to go ahead with ivf #2. Keeping you in my thoughts and hoping things go smoothly!

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  3. Hi from ICLW. I'm sorry to hear you are feeling down in the dumps :( Sometimes you just have those days and need to get through them and start over again tomorrow. I wish you luck on your IVF cycle! I'm a little behind you and will begin meds in August.

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    1. Thanks so much! Hoping tomorrow is a better day!

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  4. OMG you're such a bummer. (just kidding just kidding).

    I think it's good that you didn't remember until after.. no? If it were me I'd much prefer that then knowing the day was coming, waiting for it, etc. etc. Lovely thoughts on your behalf - love that you have charms.

    And your weekend sounds amazing. I wish I could take my dogs places where they wouldn't try to eat people and then hump their carcass.

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    1. Thank you for making me laugh on this Miserable Monday! The charms definitely help and I do think it helps this time that I didn't realize the date until after it passed. I've had a hard time with dates from the other losses in the past.

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  5. So sorry about the passing of the sad date... I can only imagine. I think it's pretty incredible that you were able to focus on enjoying life so much that the date slipped by, though. That's something. :)

    I just started Menopur tonight, so we're almost cycle-buddies! I'm looking forward to following your journey!

    Happy ICLW!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by! It's funny how strange it felt to feel okay that I missed the date.
      Yay for being almost cycle-buddies...fingers crossed for both of us!!

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  6. Hello, thanks for stopping by and saying hi on my blog. This is my first visit to yours I think. I have been going through somewhat of a negative nelly stage recently, so I totally sympathize with struggling to find positive posts. The wonderful thing about this community it that the support is there when you are feeling down and when you are not there are lots of people ready to have a laugh with you as well.

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    1. Thank you :) It really is great how the community is there for you during the ups and downs. I am really looking forward to when I have more "ups" to share.

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  7. Hello from ICLW.

    I wouldn't call it a bad thing that you didn't remember the date, as I'm sure your little ones are never far from your mind. I'm glad you were able to have a nice weekend with your husband and your dogs. Enjoy your hormone-free days!

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    1. Thank you :) I definitely agree that it was not a bad thing...just felt odd when I realized I forgot and then felt odd that I was okay with it. Ah the emotional roller coaster of IF!

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  8. I think it's ok to be a debbie downer. This all is so hard. I am definitely very much one on many of my posts, I admit. But it's our place to vent!

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