(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

Some puppy love for you :)

My Wonky Thyroid

I had my follow-up with Dr. H yesterday and may I say I am so glad that I've added an endo to the mix. She fascinates me...I love how she takes the time to explain everything so thoroughly. She does not accept insurance so that she can spend more time with her patients. I really like that I have not felt rushed during my appointments.

So...my wonky thyroid...when I saw Dr. H in December she didn't think I really needed to be on the Syn.throid and took me off of it. When Dr. A did my blood work last Friday my TSH came back elevated. When Dr. H had me go in for labwork it was the same...right around 6, so too high to say the least. Back to the Syn.throid I go - this time 100mcg for 2 weeks, then I'll step down to 75mcg. She told me not to worry that she's going to make sure I have plenty so there is no damage to the baby (it was SO weird to have her say baby). She told me that during the first trimester the concern is going to be focused on the baby and after that we'll talk more about me because the baby will have it's own thyroid by then. Again...so bizarre to have her talking so far into the future. All I could think was that we may not be worrying about any of that in 3 weeks. BUT I am trying to stay positive...

Dr. H also had my glucose levels checked and she's concerned about how much insulin I am producing. Time for me to cut my sugars and carbs. She said she does not want me gaining more than 20lbs during this pregnancy. I've been researching low carb meals today and am going to do a lot of meal planning.

More labs for me in 2 weeks and then another appointment with Dr. H in 3 weeks...really hoping we are still in the game then!

Mixed emotions

P.U.P.O. - pregnant until proven otherwise...that is how I am feeling about this one right now.

It does not feel real to me and I am nervous about what we will or won't see during Friday's u/s. I am truly trying to take it one day at a time and enjoy each moment I have with "Cinco". I figure it's not going to do me any good to worry from one week to the next, so I am trying really hard to stay calm and not think about it every time I have a minute free. I did pick up my knitting this week. It was nice to start it again...I figure if this doesn't work out, I'll just pack it away again like I did after Fred left us. I think knitting helps me remain positive and not think about all of the ways things can go wrong.

I have a follow-up appointment with my endocrinologist this afternoon and boy am I glad I do...Dr. A called on Friday afternoon about my TSH level. He said it was a little high and he wanted me back on the Synthroid...when I told him about today's appointment, he was okay with me waiting until today to find out what Dr. H has to say about my wonky thyroid. He also said he was planning on calling Dr. H. It feels really good that he's fighting so hard with us to make sure we do everything we can to have a positive outcome this time around.

This morning

I am finally at my desk at work, so I have time to tell y'all more about this morning. Both J, Dr. A and I were pretty anxious about how this visit was going to go. As soon as Dr. A got the wand up there I thought I saw a sac...he moved around a bit and sure enough there was a sac! He said you could see a little something in there and everything looked just the way it should for 5 weeks. There was only one little one in there, so no multiples! I did not ask about the high hcg level...Dr. A didn't bring it up as a concern, so I decided to not worry about it. I go back again next week to check on the progress...fingers crossed we get to hear a heartbeat. :)

I am back on my drug regimen of baby aspirin, folic acid, prom.etrium, and pred.nisone. No PIO shots for me! Dr. A was very happy with my progesterone level of 24, especially because it was on my own without any sort of supplement.

I am going to still try to take this one day at a time...real test will be in three weeks.

So funny story for you from the waiting room at Dr. A's...so J and I were sitting there both on our phones while waiting our turn to be called. The woman who was sitting one chair away from me turned to ask me a question. I didn't understand what she said at first, because I was shocked she broke the "no talking" rule in the waiting room...especially talking to another patient! Well, she asked if I've had blood drawn there before...I said yes. She said she's never had trouble having blood drawn before, but at their office it's a nightmare. She said she was anxious just waiting to be called back. So I told her my story of how I am known in the office as a hard stuck, but when I went to Que.st for a blood draw this week the tech said I was not a hard stick at all. The tech actually apologized to me that the doctor's office has not done a better job with me. I was pretty surprised to learn I was not the only one who had trouble with blood draws at Dr. A's office.

Hope y'all have a great weekend!!

Really quick update

I will give you more details when I get on a computer, but for now, I am happy to say all went well this morning! Dr A said all looked great for 5 weeks :)

Is it Friday yet??

I hadn't heard from the doctor's office about our next steps so I sent an email this afternoon. Thankfully, it only took a few minutes for me to receive a reply.

Hi There…It looks great!

C will schedule you for US on Friday when I am here and I will see you then

Best!

I will admit it, I used Dr. Goo.gle this morning to figure out the high hcg level and not everything I found was positive, so I quickly closed it. Thankfully, right after doing that I had an appointment with my therapist! She was pretty surprised with my answer to "So, how are things going?" hehe. 

I am still in awe of all that is going on and I am trying really, really hard to take it step by step.

I finally received the call...

Are you sitting down? if not, I'll give you a moment to sit or find a wall to lean up against.
Ready? here is the result of my hcg:

3153!!!

To quote Penny from Big Bang Theory - holy crap on a cracker!!
I was hoping for something around 100 - 150 ...I never ever thought I'd hear something in the 3000 range!
The nurse said most likely I won't need to go in for a second beta but will schedule an ultrasound. They are calling me back tomorrow.
My progesterone was 24...over 20, so that is good, but the doctor will look at it and decide if we need to supplement.

Wow - I am over the moon. Maybe this is real??

Waiting...

for a phone call from Dr. A's office. I went in this morning for blood work and now I am sitting here with my phone only inches away from my hands. I peed on a stick yesterday and it was positive! Go figure...this girl and her old eggs beat the odds and got a positive. I am beyond nervous and I am excited. I hate that I've already figured out the time frame for when this might fail. I know my chances of this really happening are not great, but I am going to do my absolute best to take it one step at a time.

We were able to talk to Dr. A last night and he said "Wow...just wow!" He's going to go over my test results today and most likely will put me back on PIO - which is just fine with me. He said he's nervous and excited...I said so are we. He was glad to know that we are on the same page.

The best part of all of this is that I was able to surprise J with the results. He had to go into work yesterday and I did not, so I was able to come up with a special way to tell him. I created a "Happiness Jar" for the home yesterday (I had told J I was going to do this a couple of weeks ago.) and when J got home I showed it to him. I said you should take a look inside...he saw the stick and said "Okay"...I was pretty surprised at his non-reaction. I asked if he looked at it and he said "Yeah, isn't it from before?" I said nope. He looked at it again and then at me and said "You are $hitting me!" He hugged me so hard and started to cry. Even if this does not go the way we want it to, I am so very happy that we were able to have that moment together.

Fertility Free Friday

One more Belize picture to share with you...who's ready to go?

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

Howdy Y'all...I thought I'd leave you with a pretty funny picture of me. It's almost 5 years old but still makes me smile. :) It's from the first Street Festival we went to here in San Antonio.

Counting the days

Until AF arrives, or maybe she won't. I hate, hate, hate to let Hope saddle up next to me, but she's working hard at it. I had some "signs" last week that perhaps there was implantation (cramping like AF was on her way, but it was too early for that). I am debating on buying some cheap HPTs. AF should be here in 4 days and if she doesn't arrive by Sunday I know I will want to pee on something. I don't really have any hive-like things on my back yet - started to get one on my nose (yes, very attractive!)...so another good "sign". UGH! I would prefer to not think about it, but that has been pretty darn tricky!

Quick update on Garnett - he's been seizure free for 26 days now! I think we are all starting to relax just a little bit, which has been great.

(I broke the rules last year when J was traveling for work last year and let the dogs on the couch with me. Now we keep the couch covered with blankets.)

Fertility-Free Friday

Happy Friday Y'All!! Is it just me or have the last two weeks felt really long? So glad there is a three-day weekend coming up.

I thought I'd share some pictures from the dolphin encounter we went on during our honeymoon a few years ago in Roatan. To say it was amazing is an understatement. The beginning of the program was where we stood at the edge of the water to learn about dolphins and watch their tricks. The 2nd part was my favorite...we were able to snorkel with the dolphins! We were in a roped-off area where we were able to interact with about 10 dolphins...one only being 2 years old. The enjoy playing "fetch" with sea grass...they will bring you a piece of sea grass and retrieve it after you've thrown it. It was so much fun!!

Hope you have a great weekend. :)

Mr. French showing us just how high he can jump.

 

The island at the resort (Anthony's Key Resort) where the program took place.

(Not so) Wordless Wednesday

I am wondering how a day that started off pretty good turned into "one of those days"...well, there are three things that helped...the weather (raining and gray here in San Antonio), we had leaks in the roof again here in the office, and our tenant in MA doesn't know how to pay rent. He pays weekly, because paying on the 1st of each month is too difficult...he bounced a check in December and then just bounced the last check we deposited. Oh and we could not deposit last week's check because the funds were not available. AURGH!

So I leave you with some pictures that are  helping me calm down. :)

Wish I was here enjoying some coffee and banana pancakes
(my apologies for all the pixels...had trouble getting it from my phone to the blog):

Or home cuddling with this sweet puppy:

Did you know?

It's a two post kind of day :)

This week is International Blog Delurking week! I didn't know this until I read about it on another blog and on Stirrup Queen's post. So I ask you to let me know you are there...I'd love to hear from you even if it's a quick hello. :) When I check my page views the number creep up each day - especially on my "Ironic" post, which is bittersweet to say the least. I look forward to the day I write a post that knocks that one off of the most viewed list.

Here's a commenting prompt for you...do you have any superstitions while watching a sport event? Let me tell you one of my funnier ones...during the 2003 and 2004 post-season for the Red Sox I would eat something for dinner on the night of the games that was considered to be a favorite food of the starting pitcher. At the time it was not too hard because I had the Red Sox Wives' cookbook. Please feel free to laugh or roll your eyes at me on this one!

Update on Garnett

I am happy to report we had a seizure-free weekend!! Only one false alarm - Garnett was trying to itch his ears while in his crate last night and both Sadie & I thought it was a seizure. I jumped out of bed to go check on him and Sadie was standing up in her crate staring at him. I was pretty darn happy that it was a false alarm.

We were able to get an appointment with the neurologist on Friday afternoon and it went very well. She said that G did very well with his neuro exam but she was very interested to learn why he had so many seizures over the last few months. She said her gut says it's idiopathic (no cause) epilepsy but she would like to rule out other causes before saying that is the diagnosis. The next step would be an MRI and spinal tap. We are waiting for an estimate on those costs; however, should Garnett have 2 seizures within the next 5 weeks we'll need to seriously consider the scan and spinal tap. I am hoping we hear back today about the costs. I know we both really want to have it done, just need to fit it into the budget.

Garnett was quite funny during the consultation part of the visit. He would not leave the intern alone. He kept climbing up on her and giving her kisses on her ears. He is usually pretty good about not jumping up on people, but he was all up in the intern's face. :)

I am also happy to report that I went back to the gym this weekend and I am down 1.5 pounds since the holidays! My plan is to take the next month or two to focus on me and not my cycle. Should I have a spontaneous pregnancy than HURRAH! If not, then we'll explore the donor egg IVF further.

I hope y'all had a great weekend! I leave you with an older picture of the puppies in honor of tonight's game. GO IRISH!!

Stuck in the middle

I had all these great intentions of giving you a post on how I am starting the new year off with a new attitude and all that stuff. Hmm...as you can see that post didn't happen. I really do want to start 2013 with a new me, but I am not there yet. Not knowing what is next for us has really thrown me for a loop. I feel stuck.

If we were to move forward with IVF it would be with donor eggs. That helps with the time frame of everything, but I still feel the need to move forward with it sooner rather than later because of my age. J would like to wait until late spring or early summer and I think I am okay with that. I do not want to get ourselves in such a financial bind that we are in trouble down the road. It also gives me time to lose some weight and get healthier before moving forward.

Dr. A did offer us a discounted IUI if we'd like to do that with my next cycle. I think I like that idea but the fear of another miscarriage is there. I don't think my chances of getting pregnant from an IUI are high, but who knows after having the surgeries and a nice clean ute...maybe it could happen??

So many thoughts are swirling through my head...maybe we could get lucky with a spontaneous pregnancy during this cycle?? We are bringing sexytime back and it's been fun :) so maybe we'll get lucky the old-fashioned way?!?! A girl can dream, right?? ;)

We also have stuff going on with Garnett...while he was at the ranch during our break he was seizure-free but the other night we had multiple false alarms and it made both J and I really nervous. (In order to get clear of the area I jumped over the back of the couch during the first false alarm.) I spoke to the vet about it and he said it seemed like the seizure was trying to break through. The next step would be to see a neurologist. I have no idea how much that would cost. We are working on getting an estimate. I asked my Mom if we might be able to borrow some money from her for this...it's so odd, I wouldn't borrow money from her for my own treatments, but when it came to Garnett I had no problem asking about it.

As for our trip home to MA - it was fun. Much more relaxing than other trips. I was so anxious about going home this year and I am really happy to report it was a great trip. I had plenty of Dunkin Donuts coffee! I missed out on some things...real apple cider, a trip to the beach, going out to breakfast at my favorite diner by the beach... I was able to see friends I haven't seen in a couple of years, which was really good. I needed my friend time. Best of all, there was no family drama!! 

As always, thanks for listening! Happy Friday Y'all!

Ouch!

I had great plans of giving you a post today about how I am approaching the new year with a new attitude but then this happened...my co-worker arrived with her 6 month old baby boy. OMG - he's freaking adorable...big blue eyes, huge smile...beautiful. The biggest problem for me with this visit? if pregnancy #3 had worked out our babies would have been born about 2 weeks apart. I did just fine while she was down here on the first floor with me, but the minute she walked upstairs I started to lose it. I can't help but think I should have one that size too. This infertility stuff sucks. (understatement of the new year!)

I promise, a positive blog is on it's way...still trying to get my thoughts in order for y'all!

Not-so-wordless Wednesday

Hello All! I am back from my holiday break...I can't remember if I told y'all if we were headed up north for the holidays or not. I didn't really intend to go silent while we were away, but it happened. I tried my best to keep up with you via my phone, but it was not easy. I was rarely on a computer while we were gone, which was great! I think my eyes enjoyed the break...

I've been trying to come up with a good post for the new year and am having some trouble getting my thoughts together, so for now, you get some pictures.

 This was taken at one of my favorite restaurants...The Flatbread Company...SO yummy! I had not yet been to this location and we were scouting it out for a family dinner. It's located inside of a bowling alley...so it was really loud! Decided against going back there for our family dinner, but we had a great time catching up with a good friend. Trying to fit in all of our visits with friends while we are home in MA is never easy. I am so glad we managed to find time to meet this friend...she lost her husband to cancer in Sept. 2010 and it's the first time I've seen her in person since then.

 The morning after the snow...this is looking down the street where J's mom lives.

 J shoveling the driveway for his mom.

Garnett and his kong. :) 

The puppies were absolutely wiped out yesterday. They spent their break at the ranch and they were exhausted when they came home. They spent almost all day sleeping on the couch. I am happy to report that G did not have any seizures while we were gone! They did keep us up late enough on NYE to see the ball drop...our neighbors were lighting off fireworks and neither of the puppies enjoyed that! So glad we had some Val.ium in the house for them...it really helped.

Wishing everyone a prosperous and peaceful New Year!