Thursday, November 29, 2012

Sometimes...






I am having a much tougher time picking up the pieces after this loss compared to the others. I know each loss is different and I can't lump them all together, but this has really been tough for both J and I. The biggest piece is that I don't know what is next for us. In an odd way, having the surgery next week helps because it means I am doing something. It seems that since I've made the decision to go forward with the procedure I've read about more than once person who was diagnosed with endometriosis after having a lap done and they had not been experiencing any symptoms. I am curious about what Dr. A is going to find.

Did I mention to y'all that I have pregnant co-worker? I work in an office of 20 and this is the second time where I've suffered a loss at the same time where a co-worker is pregnant. It's miserable to say the least. I am so glad that we are now in a suite with two floors, so I can avoid contact with her when I need to.

I have also been feeling guilty that my commenting on blogs has changed. Please know that I am keeping up with all of you and cheering for you.

I am sorry if I sound too much like a Debbie Downer...more than once I've read The Barren Librarian's post when I've felt down this week and tried to remind myself that I am a Warrior!!

15 comments:

  1. You absolutely are a Warrior and have been through so much. It is very understandable that you are going through a hard time. Plus the holidays always seem to add stress on top of everything else.

    (((HUGS))))

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think you are amazing! (((HUGS)))

    ReplyDelete
  3. Picking up the pieces is always the hard part. It's so hard when you feel like your body is failing you. Good for you for taking the steps you need. In the meantime, just focus on taking care of yourself and healing. The rest will come when you're ready.

    And ugh about the pregnant co-worker. Ugh, ugh, ugh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I need to remember there is no "schedule" for healing...

      Delete
  4. I want to see your warrior face!

    http://faadooindia.com/2012/07/show-me-your-war-face/

    Because you are a warrior and stronger than you know. I think you are amazing as well.

    Hugs x x x

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, lovely. I wish I was closer so I could smoosh your face.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm REALLY sorry you too are recovering from a recent loss. It's a particular kind of torture to see a nice heartbeat and hear encouraging words from your MD and then have everything fall apart. I hope your doc can give you some answers and help you come up with a good plan going forward. And in the meantime, I hope my experience holds true for you as well, that every day gets a little easier.

    BTW I think you are smart for having the surgery. I'm starting to really see that being overly aggressive/leaving no stone unturned is rarely a problem -- being passive and fumbling around in the dark is worse. So I hope the surgery gives you more answers, and I think it's smart of you to explore all avenues at once.

    As another aside, it's nice to see a fellow New Englander/Red Sox fan on here!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you very much :) When I saw your comment about McLean on your profile I said "Hey, a New Englander!"

      Delete
  7. Its going to take time to heal...I hope that after the surgery you are able to put together a plan of what to do next...that helped me through the journey...I think not doing anything got me depressed

    ReplyDelete
  8. I used to work at a company of 120 people and there were always at least 2-3 women pregnant at any given time. Now I work at a company where there are 25 people at my location. TWO of them are pregnant! How does that happen?

    ReplyDelete
  9. As I have come to learn, healing is not linear. You go forward only to be swept back again. Allow yourself some time to heal. Though you *are* are warrior, you also have a tender heart. xo

    ReplyDelete