Send some love

Please go send some love to Tami today, as she and her husband found out that their pregnancy is no longer viable. My heart is breaking for her.

Liebster Nominee #2 and a story for you

A BIG thank you to BFPEnvy for nominating me for the Liebster Award...I am honored :)

Here are my answers to her great questions...

1. Where is the most exciting place you have traveled to? It's a tie between Anchorage and Belize
2. Do you prefer chips or cookies? Cookies - preferably homemade chocolate chip
3. Coffe or tea? coffee, but I also love a good cup of English Breakfast tea
4. What is one thing you always carry with you in your purse? feminine supplies...if every I am running low all I have to do is going searching in pocketbooks not in use.
5. Do you typically wear high heels or flats? flats...nothing like having broken your foot and twisting your ankle to make you switch to flats
6. What’s your favorite alcoholic beverage? Red Wine - The Dreaming Tree Cabernet Sauvignon is a new favorite...Cupcake wines are also very yummy!
7. What is your favorite book and why? Such a tough decision...Jane Eyre is at the top of my list along with  Harry Potter.
8. If you won a million dollars, what is the first big purchase you would splurge on? a house in Belize
9. Who is your celebrity crush? Dave Matthews
10. What is the last movie that you watched that made you cry? Haven't watched any movies lately that have made  me cry, but commercials?!? They are getting me left and right lately - especially the Subaru commercial with the chocolate lab.
11. What is one wonderful thing you would like to share about your significant other: He's great at surprising me with little things...like last week's iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts :)

I think all the ladies on my reading list have been nominated, so I am not adding any nominations right now...you are all wonderful and I treasure you!!

I heard from Dr. A's office with the results from yesterday's bloodwork...hcg is down to 70...so I get to back next Monday for another stick. I wish I could go on Saturday instead...going to see if that is possible.

My Mom told me a great story from her job yesterday that I want to share with you. My Mom works on the Maternity Ward at a local hospital...while going over one of the charts with an aide it was noted that a patient had 8 pregnancies but only 3 live births (there is a technical term for this but I don't remember what it is). The aide looked at it and said "Wow can you believe her numbers?!?!" My Mom looked at her and said "T, you have no idea what this woman's story is and you cannot judge her based on those numbers. When my daughter has a baby her numbers are going to be 5 and 1." My Mom said T's face just dropped. She apologized and said that my Mom was right - you have no idea what the story is behind the numbers. I was so proud of my Mom for standing up for that patient and saying something to the aide.

Monday, Monday

We started our day off at Dr. A's office this morning for the follow-up appointment. I am happy to say that everything looked good - no need for surgery!! I had to have blood taken as well to make sure my hcg level is down to zero...I really, really hope it is so I don't have to go back for another blood draw this week. Dr. A also said they should have the pathology report back in another couple of weeks. Once they are back we are going to go in and chat with Dr. A about the results and what is next for us. Truly, I have no idea what is next. I am trying really hard to just heal from what has happened and not think about what's next yet.

I also got the name of a therapist. I had seen one a couple of times after the 3rd m/c...she was good but not great. I think my big turn-off was after the last appointment when I was talking about everything I was dealing with and she said "So what is it that I can do for you?" Um, I just gave you a BUNCH of material...can't you find a way to help? I was just really surprised when she asked.

It's still sunny and cool here in SA but should be getting warmer this week. Back up into the 70s...I can't believe what a wimp I've become since moving south. Speaking of weather, our thoughts are with all of our friends and family up north who are in the path of Sandy. Stay safe my friends!!

Liebster Blog Award - Updated

WOW! I've been nominated for the Liebster Blog Award by my friend Amanda at Growing Griswolds...THANK YOU :)

Here is some info on the award (courtsey of Amanda): What is a Liebster Blog Award? The Liebster Blog Award is given to up and coming bloggers with less than 200 followers, and nominated by fellow bloggers. Liebster is a German word meaning sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome.
What does it mean to me? Someone cares about me and my little blog. :)

Now for the first fun part...answering Amanda's questions:

1) If you were a pickle in a jar, where would you want to be and why? I'd want to be a sweet gherkin and I think I'd want to be right in the middle so I am protected by the pickles around me.

2) What is your favorite holiday? Thanksgiving...I've always loved helping get the  meal ready - especially making an apple pie. I love how it's not as commercialized as Christmas. For the last 2 years we've celebrated Thanksgiving in Belize - which has been a blast!

3) If you have a bucket list, what is the most ridiculous thing on it? (Thanks Bree for the question) Skydiving - but not til I am at my goal weight - so it's a ways away!

4) If you could only watch one disney movie for the rest of your life, which one would it be and why? Finding Nemo - I know it's Pixas but Disney owns Pixar now, so hopefully it counts still :)

5) What is your favorite nursery rhyme? Backe Backe Kuchen - it's a German nursery rhyme that is the equivalent of Pat-a-Cake...I taught it to my preschoolers when I was teaching back in the day and they loved it!

6) Do you have any pets? If no, why not? Two Golden Retrievers - Sadie and Garnett

7) Is your current hair color your natural hair color? HAHAHAHA!! Not even close! According to one of my favorite hairdressers, my color would be "squirrel" right now - ALOT of white.

8) What do you like to do in your spare time? I feel like all I do now is become a couch potato...I'd like to start doing more once I am feeling more like myself again. I love to bake, read, take the dogs for walks with J.

9) If you could be any crayon color, which would you choose to be? (Thanks April for the question) Midnight blue - this was always my favorite color in the 64 pack when I was growing up.

10) What is the furthest you have been away from home and where was it? Alaska - went with my brother and SIL when she had to go to Anchorage for a business trip.

11) How old were you when you got your first cell phone? Ugh - I was old - 30ish

2nd part of the fun...my 11 nominations:

Toni @Who is this "Fertile Myrtle"?

Elizabeth @Bebe Suisse
Jenny @Stupid Stork

Tami @Submerged

Trufflelove

Jenny @Sprout

The Barren Librian

Janet @Just a Little Off Kilter

Jenn @The Future Fords

Ducky @I'm Just Ducky, Thanks!

EmHart @Follow Every Rainbow 

3rd part of the fun...my 11 questions:

1) What is your favorite guilty pleasure song?

2) Do you watch reality tv? What is your favorite reality tv show?

3) If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go?

4) What is your favorite dish to bring to a pot-luck meal?

5) If you were a cupcake, what type would you be?

6) How many different places have you lived? Where?

7) What is your favorite book?

8) What is your favorite time of year?

9) What is your favorite breakfast food?

10) Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

11) Do you believe in ghosts?

Stormy Friday

It's a very gray day here in San Antonio...it's turning my mood pretty gray as well. A few good things to report though...the cold front came through last night and Garnett did not have a seizure. We are thinking that his last couple of seizures have been triggered by excitement combined with a cold front coming into the area. We did our best to keep the puppies calm last night and it seemed to help...also helped that the cold front came through after they were in their crates for the night. The vet has offered to give us a prescription for Val.ium to keep him extra calm, if necessary. We haven't tried it yet, but last night we tried Pet.co's version of "doggie downers"...um, yeah, didn't touch the boy. lol. On another "positive" note...due to the weather I got to wear jeans and a sweatshirt today. J laughs when I get excited to wear a sweatshirt. It doesn't happen often enough down here. Unfortunately, I think I am becoming a bit of a wimp with the cold. It drops to 60 and I am grabbing my Cape Cod sweatshirt. :)

As for the mood...it seems so hard to believe that it's been 2 weeks since I was pregnant. I keep thinking this wasn't supposed to happen this time. I haven't cried in the shower for the last two days, so that is a step forward, but I still have a hard time falling asleep and haven't gone to bed without crying yet. Baby steps, I guess. Physically, I am doing well...bleeding is pretty much done - just some spotting. I have to admit, this has me a little worried...it doesn't seem like it lasted long enough. Thankfully, we are going in for a follow-up on Monday. I have not heard if they were able to do any testing...I've been tempted to email Dr. A to see if it  had been done, but haven't yet.

I've also realized that I need to bit the bullet and contact an endocrinologist about my thyroid. I have no idea why my levels changed this past year and without knowing what's next for us with Dr. A, I know I need to see someone to make sure it's monitored.

I still just want to run away to Belize...anyone want to join me? IF blogger meet-up at the Sunbreeze?!?

Husband of the Year Award

J is definitely in the running. :) We use gchat during the day to chit chat. Sometimes (read most) I get irritated when he doesn't let me know he'll be offline for awhile. After his lunch break yesterday he was offline for an hour or so...when he did say hello I replied with "didn't realize you'd be busy after lunch"...he said I looked tired and did I want some iced coffee. I said "nope...still trying to keep the caffeine consumption down"...imagine my surprise when he said "Well, I have an iced coffee for you..drink half?" I asked where he was and he said watching me...I checked the windows, no one was at the front door of the office. He IM'd that I looked the wrong way...I finally got up to check the door and there he was standing there with a DUNKIN DONUT'S iced coffee. Why the caps?? There are only 2 Dunkins here in San Antonio...one on the wrong side of security at the airport and one on "the other side" of town. He went to the ghetto to get me coffee. :) J said he wanted to do something special for me that wasn't flowers. Iced coffee was more than special. OMG - was it amazing!! I was so hyper afterwards!! I talked to my mom on my ride home from work and she commented on how I sounded better. I said it was the caffeine talking. J noticed I was a bit hyper when I got home too and didn't mind at all. :)

Take 2

I made it to work this morning. Another day I am so glad I have the 1st floor of the office to myself. Only downfall is I am thirsty and need to go upstairs for water. :( Really avoiding going up there. Only a select few know about what I've gone through but I am still dreading it. I have such a hard time with sympathetic looks...I know people mean well, but it hurts to see the pain in their eyes when they look at me. It happened on Monday at the doctor's office when the tech showed me to the room for the scan. J reminded me this morning it's because people care not because they are pitying me.

I am really glad I stayed home yesterday. Spent part of the day as a couch potato and the other part being semi-productive. We did little things around the house. I also made carrot cake cupcakes from scratch - they turned out really yummy! My guilty pleasure tv show has been Bunheads...it's part Gilmore Girls and part Facts of Life. It's really helped take my mind off of things for short periods of time. Even J had fun watching part of it with me. :)

Here's my view from my desk looking upstairs...really glad I am alone on days like this. Now it's time to turn on some Dave Matthews.

So just after I hit publish my boss came downstairs with something for me to ship out. He asked if I was doing okay and said that if I need more time off not to worry about it. If I need to just do half-days this week, that is okay too. He said the importand thing is to get myself back to a good spot. Of course, the tears started right after he left. I can't express enough how greatful I am for such an understanding boss. He has been so good to me through all of this.