Thursday, October 15, 2015
October 15th...I wish I had the right words to use to describe how today makes me feel. I still have a hard time knowing that we lost Fred on this day three years ago. I was just reading through the posts from that time and it amazes me how the sadness comes right back. Yet, it also amazes me how much support I still feel from all of you when I read those comments. I don't think I'll ever find the right words to let y'all know how very much you mean to me!
I remember having my youngest brother tell me after one of the losses that someday it will all be behind us. That we will get to the other side. I am on the other side now and yet none of that is behind me. It's not in the forefront of my mind, but I don't think it will ever truly be "behind" me. It's a part of me...it's part of the reason I am who I am today. I don't think I would have ever known how much inner strength I possess if I didn't go through the losses.
Today I spend the day thinking of what could have been and what is. I am still in awe that I defied the odds of less 1% chance of a natural pregnancy. M truly is our Miracle Man!