tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4406057510646870835.post4806702870746920881..comments2024-03-22T00:15:32.987-07:00Comments on Tales from Our Yellow Brick Road: Need your thoughts/adviceKelBelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17400825492187240028noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4406057510646870835.post-26526133035025386382013-06-25T07:38:16.485-07:002013-06-25T07:38:16.485-07:00Thank you SO much for your thoughts and advice...I...Thank you SO much for your thoughts and advice...I truly appreciate it. :)KelBelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17400825492187240028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4406057510646870835.post-79336296099787223012013-06-23T19:35:00.391-07:002013-06-23T19:35:00.391-07:00Hmm... hard to fully know what's going on unle...Hmm... hard to fully know what's going on unless you have years of context, but I would guess that Cristy is right about her being a bit resentful toward you. People always think others' lives are easier than their own, and often gloss over things like miscarriages or parents dying while focusing on stuff their friends have that they don't (in this case, a stable marriage, pregnancy, etc.). Honestly, I wouldn't worry about anything YOU have done, or haven't done -- it really sounds like she is just dealing with some demons in her own life right now and closing up a bit. I wouldn't be too aggressive in trying to get back in her good books, but rather keep sending her messages here and there letting her know you're thinking of her and just kind of offering support, checking in, etc. I also think email is sometimes an easier way to communicate in these situations because you can formulate exactly what you want to say and read it over first, then she can kind of digest it on her own terms, in her own time, and write back when she's ready...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4406057510646870835.post-67615431340336011912013-06-20T16:01:36.761-07:002013-06-20T16:01:36.761-07:00I'm actually working on a post about a situati...I'm actually working on a post about a situation like this, with me being the OP and my friend being in your shoes. Honestly, there's only so much you can do as she's not reciprocating. You can try calling her and/or writing her a letter, but the truth is that she needs to meet you halfway. And if she's not doing that, there's really not a lot you can do.<br /><br />In my case, I was so bitter about my losses while my friend was moving on to motherhood (she gave birth to her daughter the same day I learned I had miscarried). Living with the pain of all of that and then having a failed cycle resulted in me being able to see beyond myself or connect with those who weren't also struggling with the same type of trauma. It wasn't until later, after I had been working with a counselor to address the trauma and heal, that I was able to communicate with my friend and be a part of her life again. I know I hurt her terribly because of this, but I also know that I needed to protect myself.<br /><br />What I'm willing to bet is happening is that there's some jealousy over you moving forward and being pregnant. I'm not saying it's right or fair (believe me, I know how much you've been through and what a gift Cinco is for you), but emotions are usually far from rational. That said, I think being honest about what you're feeling is good and letting her know that you are willing to listen is also good too. But remember that there's only so much you can do as she needs to confront her demons and heal. So no guilt or shoulda-coulda-wouldas because you are already doing an amazing job of reaching out and keeping the lines of communication open. Fingers are crossed that she sees this and reciprocates. Cristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4406057510646870835.post-12481494672535767872013-06-20T08:43:07.492-07:002013-06-20T08:43:07.492-07:00Thanks, Jenny. Sometimes I forgot that snail mail ...Thanks, Jenny. Sometimes I forgot that snail mail is still an option! Might be a good one here. :)KelBelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17400825492187240028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4406057510646870835.post-48466972303055148972013-06-20T08:41:50.701-07:002013-06-20T08:41:50.701-07:00I'm not very good at situations like this, but...I'm not very good at situations like this, but if it was something that was bothering me a lot, I'd be inclined to write to her to tell her my concerns and feelings. (I'm better at writing out my feelings than talking about them.) It sounds like there are a lot of unspoken feelings happening here and they might need to be dragged out of her. <br /><br />I'm sorry that your friendship with her is troubled. I hope you'll be able to work things out. Good luck. Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14101535107377688458noreply@blogger.com